On Friday in my Random Question I told you about a time when I sought God with all my heart and found Him. That, of course, wasn't the end of the story. Our stories never really have an ending do they. :D If you haven't read that post you can read it Here. Go ahead, we'll wait for you. .......... tick tock...tick tock...tick tock...... All caught up now? Great!
Now remember I mentioned that when God told me that He was real, He did not say anything else. No instructions, no commandments, no condemnations, and also no commendations. Just the answer to my question with a sense of ... acceptance of who I am. So I went on my way with a little bit more knowledge and satisfaction of knowing the Truth. I wasn't living an exceptionally sinful life or an exceptionally moral life. I was mostly ignorant, trying to be "good" but as a captive of worldly ways.
About a year later I found myself wondering if I was living my life the way that God wanted, and if not, what I needed to do. I was brought up in a secular environment, moral but secular. There was no teaching about God from my dad or my Grandma M. (dad's mom) who raised me. On my mom's side, my Grandma D. was Catholic so I did learn that Jesus was God's son and He died for my sins. No explanation beyond that. My Grandma D. did set a good foundation for my faith but that's another story for later. So at this point I knew that the answers to how God wants me to live could be found in the Bible. So it made sense that I should read the Bible and I would no what to do.
I had an old King James Version that I don't know where I had gotten but I got it out and began reading... "In the beginning ....." It was a book after all and you're supposed to read a book from beginning to end. As you can see I had zero understanding of the Bible except that the answers were in there. All was going pretty well until I got to Leviticus. If you've never read Leviticus go back and read it. It's all about the laws that were given to the Israelites after God brought them out of Egypt. Now I was already having a difficult time sorting out the King James language as I was reading, and now the law is brought into the mix. Needless to say I became very confused and concerned that I didn't stand a chance. I closed my Bible and told God my concerns. It went something like this...
"God, how am I supposed to do this!? I'm sure it's illegal to kill animals! And no one is going to let me put blood all over the door post! I don't have a clue where to get a bull, and even if I did, I couldn't kill it if I wanted to! I don't understand any of this. I want to do what you say but there is just no way that I can (am able) to do these things!"
Go ahead and laugh. I do. Imagine a 17 year old girl trying to live out the Levitical Laws in this day and age and in this culture all by herself. I was in a bit of a panic! :) But God ...
Within about a week I was sitting outside with a friend (different than the one in my previous story) having a conversation. We may have been talking about life but I don't really remember. I had been feeling discouraged over my failed Bible study and not knowing what to do. God spoke to me again. Just like before it was not audible but in my heart and I was amazed at how much He could say in the blink of an eye. It was more like He imparted information into my heart that I understood as a sentence. Yes I am analytical, can you tell? ;)
He said "Do what you know is right and don't worry about what you have not yet learned. I won't hold you accountable for what you haven't learned."
And like the last time, I looked at my friend and said "God just talked to me!" I told him what God said and that's all I remember of our conversation. I do know that I was amazed that God spoke to me and even though He said not to worry about what I had not yet learned, that didn't let me off the hook for trying to learn.
There is still more to this story that I will write about later if you are still interested.
Oh Lord, Thank you so much that you didn't leave me in my ignorance but that you loved me enough to teach me. Thank you for your patience with me throughout my life. Thank you that you revealed yourself to me in ways that I would understand. You are Amazing and truely Worthy of All Praise. From the depths of my heart I love you and want to live my life first and formost to please you. In Christ - Amen