Daddy's Girl

Wednesday, August 5, was the 24th anniversary of my Daddy's death, today is the anniversary of the day I found him. I drove to my grandma's house to deliver the news to her. My grandma (dad's mom) raised me for about 7 years of my life and was more like a mom to me. Ironically, Wednesday was also the 9th anniversary of her death. As I started to tell her, I realized that as much as this news hurt me, it would hurt her more because she was his mom. All I could say was "I just came from Daddy's" and she ended up completing the sentence.

I was very close to my Papa (that's what I called my dad). My mom left us, my dad, my sister and me, when I was 3-4 years old. My Papa, with the help of his mom, did his best at raising two little girls. He remarried and a couple of years after that, my sister and I went to live with my grandma. Eventually, I went back to live with my Papa. He was separated then and it was just me and him.

I don't remember ever hearing him say "I love you", although I'm sure he did when I was little. I don't remember him kissing me or hugging me but I'm sure he did when I was little. There are a number of things that I wish he would have done differently that impacted my life, but I have never doubted that he loved me. My Papa was just not an openly affectionate man. He did give some of the best mushy, loving, girly cards for birthdays though. We didn't do a lot together or go on yearly vacations but I always enjoyed being in his presence.

My dad was a quiet man and had a lot of patience. He chuckled more than laughed. He loved sports and westerns and spent much of his time watching TV. He worked hard and took care of his family even when we weren't living with him. He was a man of integrity.

We could hardly have a conversation that didn't involve us disagreeing (strongly) about something, but we could still laugh and not get angry about it (most of the time). I could be myself with my dad. I could say what was on my mind without fear (much). He even told me once that one of his favorite things about me was that I did speak my mind to him. Sometimes he shook his head and chuckled at me, sometimes he got angry with me, and most of the time he disagreed with me but I always knew he loved me.

I don't know if my Papa ever gave his life to Christ before he died, I wasn't a believer yet myself. But I do know that he loved me. Sometimes it's much easier to see the sin and the things we don't like in others, than to find those things that reveal the Image of God.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

I can also be myself with Jesus, and tell Him whatever is on my mind and know that He will still love me. He doesn't give me physical hugs and kisses and I rarely hear the words "I love you" but I see His love in His care for me.

Thank you Lord for your unfailing love and for blessing me with a wonderful Papa whose love was expressed beyond what words reveal. In Jesus Name ~ Amen.

A girl needs to be so lost in God, that the guy is going to have to seek HIM to find her!